


once you get the feeling

by keizh



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2
Genre: F/M, Post-Triangulum Arc, is this... slow burn?, seems one-sided for awhile but trust me it's gonna be more than that it's just really fuckin slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 11:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14401395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keizh/pseuds/keizh
Summary: yamato likes a certain someone and yes, it takes him many chapters to figure this out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday to a certain someone, you know who you are!!
> 
> i was hoping to finish this entirely before posting it or at least get to some good shippy parts, but then this became much bigger than initially planned so uhhhhhhhh at least, there will be further updates after this with better moments?? i also decided to divide this into small chapters so i don't feel pressured to write a lot for updates later and then this gives greater mobility as far as skipping around goes.
> 
> anyway, hope that this is at least of some enjoyment for you my friend as i know the thirst is real when you invest in the rare pair
> 
> also i apologize in advance for weird tense changes etc bc yeah i lost all sense in my frenzy and even reviewing it i'm sure i missed stuff;;; hope it doesn't distract too much

It's about a year after that Yamato, Hibiki and Al manage to arrange to go on the trip they had spoken of prior to the final reset of the world. Despite Yamato's insistence that he can arrange it all on his own, Makoto takes over the duty for him so as to try and help get him accustomed to taking a vacation from his work. Unsurprisingly, it frustrates him to helplessly watch as everyone else planned for him.

Hibiki tells him repeatedly. "Makoto knows what she's doing."

It's not that Yamato doesn't trust her with it, but he rather dislikes to put her in a position to do all of his work. Not only does she take it upon herself to act as a personal secretary, but he did also appoint her to being second-in-command in this world. She really did not need to put the extra weight upon her to relay important messages or remind him of upcoming meetings or even help with arranging his schedule, but she did it all anyway even though he often reminded her that this was not part of her job.

Each and every time though she would just smile at him and say, "Yes, I'm well aware of that, but I would rather you not overburden yourself as you have so many times before, Chief Hotsuin."

He couldn't quite find it in himself to argue with her when it came to that.

Eventually, he managed to let go of needing to be in control of the entire matter and didn't bother to inquire about it until he started wanting to better figure out what he did need to bring with him. As it turned out, Hibiki had been rather insistent on visiting a multitude of places, unlike Al and Yamato who only had one or two particular interests that were voiced. Literally, it seemed like Hibiki had simply listed out every single country possible. Makoto did her best to appease all of the requests within a reasonable budget between them all.

Though, upon showing Hibiki the costs of going to as many places as he wanted, he had immediately backtracked nervously. "Uh, M-Maybe just Indonesia is fine..."

Upon hearing of that exchange, though, Yamato had immediately stepped in. "Sako, do not bother forwarding them the costs. I will cover the entire trip."

"S-sir?"

"Though, perhaps, maybe a few stops less. We do only have a month after all."

"Understood."

And that was how Yamato found himself at the airport with a single suitcase of luggage and his laptop bag about 2 weeks later. Makoto was at his side of course, unable to keep herself from seeing him off at the gate and reminding him to not worry about checking in on work until after they returned to Japan. The moment that Hibiki and Al arrived though, Makoto silently left it to them to remind Yamato to give himself a break.

"Hm, Miss Sako will not be coming...?" Al asks, blinking at her.

"A-ah, if I go with Chief Hotsuin, who will take care of JP's in his stead?"

"Yeah, Al. Besides, Yamato's the first step. Then, we can work on getting Makoto to give herself a nice long vacation, too," Hibiki winks at her after this.

Yamato does not seem amused by this though and instead looks rather perturbed by Hibiki's statement. His eyes briefly meet Makoto's and she seems to pick up on what is troubling him and she nervously waves her hands in front of her.

"I-I don't need a vacation, really...!" She knows she is just as bad as he is about taking time off, but now really is not the time to bother addressing that. "A-anyway, just make sure you don't do anything to get yourselves in trouble."

"You got it!" Hibiki flashes a thumbs up, which Al does as well with a gentle smile.

Hibiki then nudges Yamato in the side with his elbow and Yamato reluctantly puts his hand up as though to wave as he cannot bring himself to replicate their absurd gesture.

They exchange final parting words after that and even though Hibiki and Saiduq continue ahead, Yamato cannot help pausing to look back at Makoto again. She is still standing where she was and the moment she notices he is staring back at her, she looks visibly panicked. However, she manages to quickly get ahold of herself and again waves at him in an effort to reassure him that it's okay to leave.

His gaze lingers for a short while longer, before he nods at her and turns to catch up with Hibiki and Al who are stopped a little ways ahead.

It is the first time he will be without her by his side in this world after all. It is only natural to feel this way, Yamato reasons with himself. Though, he is not entirely sure what the feeling is exactly.

He quickly forgets the thought as Hibiki playfully jabs him in the side while they're waiting to board.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry that hibiki turned out so obnoxious i don't know what happened and it is tragic

Two days pass before Yamato calls Makoto, unable to help himself from asking about work from the start. Immediately, Hibiki wrestles the phone away from him before the call cuts off in the midst of a bunch of arguing and Makoto is left staring in bewilderment at her phone. Well, at least, she knows they landed safely anyway.

After another week, Makoto receives a call from Yamato again.

"Sako."

"Y-yes?"

"Excuse Kuze's rudeness the last time I called."

"Ah," Makoto isn't sure what to say to that really.

"As it is, I cannot ask you about work apparently."

She hears Hibiki in the background yelling from another room, "DID I HEAR YOU SAY WORK?!" to which Yamato snaps back, "I'M NOT ASKING ABOUT WORK YOU ABSOLUTE FOOL" and Al defends him as well, sounding a bit muffled "it's true. he is not asking her about work, hibiki" to which Hibiki resounds an "oh, ok HI MAKOTO TELL MAKOTO I SAID HI!!"

Yamato clears his throat, before continuing.

"A-anyway..."

"It seems you're having fun," Makoto cannot help but chuckle over the exchange.

"... Fun, you say."

"It's not that different from the exchanges I have with my friends as you have overheard... too many times," she shakes her head in slight exasperation at the realization of this. "Exhausting at times, but fun overall."

"Hm, this is true. Kanno and Yanagiya are just as insufferable as this lot."

Makoto has to control herself from laughing too much at his admission of this. "Well, I don't know about insufferable, but they can be a handful."

"A handful. Yes, very much many hands full. Perhaps, if I was an octopus I may have enough hands for these two, but I am merely one man."

"Um, I take it they are causing you some grief?"

"Exactly. Kuze cannot help himself when he becomes rather excited, but he is much like a puppy and does not seem to understand how to calm himself down appropriately. And Saiduq...! Well, actually, Saiduq isn't so bad in hindsight just horrendously unaware. Kuze makes enough trouble for the both of them at any rate."

"Well, as long as they aren’t doing anything illegal-”

“I suppose you are right. It is just… vexing.”

Makoto can practically hear the other two gasping overdramatically in the background and she cannot help wanting to advise Yamato to perhaps not say these things about his companions right in front of them. However, she figures that they will address it in their own comfortable way should it truly bother them. Besides, Yamato does seem to be a bit annoyed over whatever they had done over the past week. She cannot deny that Hibiki at times can be a bit overly rambunctious and imagines that Al is easily drawn in to such energy as well. It is not hard to see why they would overwhelm Yamato as such.

“Well, besides that, how is the trip so far?”

“Disregarding everything involving them, it has been pleasant overall. I would very much like to take another trip somewhere. Alone, preferably.”

There is a pause, before Makoto responds. “I’m sure that could be easily arranged if you would like.”

“In the future. I do still need to do my part. I cannot simply keep burdening you with taking my spot for weeks at a time.”

“It is best to plan it sooner rather than later as I’m well aware that you may simply never bring it up again based on that logic. I will see to it that you get to have at least a week to do as you please within the next year.”

Yamato cannot help frowning at this, wondering why this doesn’t sit well with him. While he truly wants to travel again, Hibiki’s words from when they were at the airport come back to him suddenly. While he knows it would be simply to let Makoto have a vacation as well, he finds himself wanting to accompany her at some point. However, such a notion is not feasible even with his sister present. She did not want to take charge of JP’s until she was in her twenties, anyway, which was the bargain they had struck many years ago with their family.

“Hm, I will not stop you then.”

Makoto smiles to herself, “I am glad to help you take time for yourself, sir. You earned it after all.”

Yamato finds himself at a loss for words, before deeming that their conversation is more or less done with for the time being. Besides, he cannot risk her hearing him sound mildly flustered for once. “... Very well then. I will let you resume as you were now.”

“Alright. Good night, Chief Hotsuin.”

The moment Yamato ends the call, he feels strangely warm and as though his head is a bit of a jumble. The two yammering in the background behind him were of little to no concern anymore and instead, he was left feeling frustrated instead by his inability to understand the fuzzy feeling that rose in his chest when Makoto told him good night.

It is not the first time he has felt this way with her, but even after all this time, he still cannot pinpoint what it is exactly that is causing such an unnervingly pleasant sensation within his heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Yamato avoids calling her again until nearly the end of the trip, having still not quite tackled the tangle of emotions within himself. At some point, Al asks him if there is something bothering him and Yamato instinctively denies this, before later bringing it up while they are milling about as Hibiki makes his rounds for souvenirs.

“I’m not sure why I’m telling you this, but since you had asked earlier, I suppose it would be prudent to be more honest with you. I do have something that has been on my mind, yes.”

“I would think you might just outright say it if you were being honest with me, or is it perhaps that you don’t quite know what it is that’s bothering you?”

Yamato frowns at this, disliking how Al so easily wades into his territory like that. “... Correct.”

“What’s correct?”

Yamato hates this way of communication, knowing that Al is more than aware of what’s correct. Still, he initiated this conversation so Yamato cannot simply exit so brashly. He does have to maintain a sense of dignity after all.

“The fact that I cannot expand upon my answer further as I do not fully understand what is bothering me other than when it occurs.”

“Hm, that is quite the dilemma, isn’t it?”

“Are you asking me?”

“Why yes, I am.”

“Hmph, useless question. It is nothing that will stop me from functioning as I am, anyway. It is just mildly annoying,” Yamato pauses, narrowing his eyes at Al’s calm smile. “Much like you and Kuze are sometimes.”

“Haha, I’m afraid I do not know to what extent we are… annoying, unfortunately. However, I imagine it must be difficult if it happens frequently anyway. You said you only know when it occurs, did you?”

“Correct.”

“May I ask when it happens exactly, then? I might be able to help you discern what the problem could possibly be…”

Yamato is reluctant to let Al try and help him, but he figures he would much rather divulge such information to Al than Hibiki as trustworthy as he is; Yamato is simply not ready for Hibiki to be loud at him about it, should he know the answer at all.

“Understand that I am only telling you this so do not pass this information off to anyone else.”

“Yes, your secret is safe with me.”

“Very well…” Yamato feels himself grow strangely embarrassed as he prepares to tell him, unsure as to why he would feel embarrassed in the first place. There is nothing embarrassing at all about talking to Makoto, after all. Yamato crosses his arms, before releasing a breath he did not know he had been holding. “Sometimes, when I speak with Sako… there is something occurring within my core that is unlike anything else I have experienced thus far.”

“Ah…”

Yamato squints at Al, seeing that he looks suddenly.. enlightened? He is not sure what the look is actually, but it gets on his nerves all the same because it is obvious he knows _something_.

“What is it?”

“And you say… this is only with Miss Sako, hm? Yes, that is… very intriguing…”

“I don’t have time to humor your mockery of my genuine distress.”

“Yes, yes, do not mistake my outward thought process for mockery, my dear Hotsuin.”

“I thought I told you to cut it out with that.”

“Oh yes, you did, didn’t you? Sorry, sorry. It is just so fitting for you, my friend, as calling you Yamato is still simply much too forward of me.”

“I bought you a ticket to this silly excursion so I do not think it is so outlandish for you to call me by my given name.”

“Is that so? Well, then, _Yamato_ -”

Yamato has never wanted to roll his eyes more than this moment, but shrugs off the desire by popping his neck instead, knowing that it secretly drives Al up the wall.

“It is obviously still much too forward... and yet, you are so very patient,” Al forces himself to remain pleasant, although he cannot help poking fun at his childish behavior. “Anyway, as I was saying before I got distracted…”

Yamato ceases in irritating Al and listens intently for him to continue, obviously extremely interested in knowing the secret behind his recurring issue.

“If it’s only with Miss Sako, then… perhaps, it is something more than friendship?”

“Incorrect. We are not friends. Our relationship is strictly professional.”

“Right, right. However… even so, this feeling does not occur with other coworkers of yours, yes? Or were you lying about it only happening with Miss Sako?”

“Ridiculous. Of course I do not feel that way when speaking with other subordinates or otherwise. I believe that much is obvious, Saiduq.”

“Then, do not fight me when I say that it is possible you may have feelings for her that extend beyond merely professional.”

“I said there is something occurring within me, not that I might have feelings for her, whatever that means.”

“You are still trying to fight me-”

“No. I am merely providing you with further facts to help figure this out since it seems you are confused about my work relationship with Sako.”

“There you go again, Hotsuin. Do not think merely in terms of “work relationship” because otherwise you will simply continue to dismiss it anytime someone tries to help you understand what that feeling might be,” Al’s voice is soft, but a bit stern as he knows Yamato is just being stubborn for no reason at all. “Granted, I may be incorrect about this, but it seems to me that there really is no other explanation. I mean, you have never felt this way before with anyone else, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then, that discounts anything resembling a familial feeling as well and you certainly do not feel this way about Hibiki or myself, yes? Therefore, it is not how one feels even with a deep friendship, which really leaves the only other alternative…”

Yamato grunts in annoyance at this. “Tch… Of course, it was useless thinking that you might have any clue about this.”

Al cannot force himself to smile at Yamato any longer, only sighing in defeat as he shakes his hands free of trying to provide his friend further insight. “Well, that is just my opinion on the matter. It might not hurt to try and ask Hibiki about his thoughts as well.”

As if on cue, Hibiki bounds over to them with several bags in hand. Yamato immediately distracts himself with giving Hibiki a bit of a hard time over buying so many souvenirs, dismissing the entirety of the conversation that had happened just moments before.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm idk this part just sort of happened partially bc i was gonna have yamato talk to hibiki about it, but then it felt too sudden so instead a chapter about yamato awkwardly trying to be a good friend i guess??

It is 2 AM when Yamato lays painfully awake in bed, unable to stop thinking about what Al said to him earlier. He managed to keep himself from bothering to mull over it for the rest of the day, but it seemed his dreams wanted to remind him of all of this full force. It does not help that he accidentally also awoke to hearing Hibiki sniveling into his pillow. Unable to allow himself to merely listen in silence, he gets up from bed and stiffly shakes his friend awake.

“Kuze.”

“... nnggh, wh-what?” Hibiki blearily rolls over to stare up at Yamato, before realizing that his pillow and face are soaked. “Huh…?”

“A nightmare, it seems.”

“... Oh…” Hibiki frowns as he sits up, vague recollections of the dream coming back to him.

“... Are you good now?”

Staring blankly at the covers, Hibiki shakes his head and Yamato does not need to reach very far to understand what the nightmares were about. Gently, Yamato places a hand on his head, before taking a seat next to him.

“We are all here, you know. Well, only Saiduq and I are in this room with you obviously, but everyone else is alive and well. There is no need to mourn for past realities.”

Hibiki still cannot help the tears from building within him again, sniffling as he wipes at his eyes, but it seems they will not stop coming. He knows very well that Yamato’s words are true, but even so, the raw emotions that come with remembering everything continue to hit hard even to this day. Unfortunately, it seemed only Hibiki was afflicted with having to relive everything in his dreams this frequently. Yamato only rarely experienced such a thing and only once had he actually shed a few tears unwillingly when he awoke right after watching Daichi helplessly bleed out before him. He was not sure if the others also had instances like this, but there was no doubt that Hibiki seemed to have it happen every week if not more.

“Sorry… this happened the other night too…” Hibiki mumbled, hoarsely.

Yamato says nothing and Hibiki continues on. “Al woke up and tried to help, but you know… he doesn’t remember anything so… I couldn’t really… explain.”

For some reason, this makes Hibiki’s quiet sniffling evolve into a controlled sob. The only thing Yamato could think of to try and keep Hibiki from crying harder was to grab him and awkwardly hug him. Luckily, this seemed to help some even if the front of his shirt was getting covered in tears and potential snot.

“Even if he cannot remember, I am certain he too experiences vague feelings towards us even if he is unable to understand why, exactly.”

“... You think?”

“I mean, how else would you explain my sister’s attitude towards me…” Yamato says, wryly.

The comment makes Hibiki laugh a bit and Yamato takes that as a sign that he is safe to release from his extremely rigid hold. “Well, I don’t think _your_ attitude towards her helps with that either.”

“Heh, you may be right. At any rate, she doesn’t remember anything. Or at least, if she does, she will not tell me. I would not put it past her-”

“Io says she doesn’t remember and I think she would know the best out of all of us.”

“Ah, is that so? I will drop my suspicions of her merely being sly then.”

“Good, now stop bullying your sister.”

“I do not bully her. Rather, she bullies me.”

“That’s not what I hear.”

“Ah, so she remains as devious as ever.”

“You’re a total dork.”

Hibiki slides himself back down underneath his covers and Yamato hesitates in moving from his side.

“Hey, Yamato?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks… for everything. I know I say that a lot, but I cannot say anything else when it comes to this.”

“It is nothing.”

“I wanna repay you, but I don’t think anything will ever be enough…”

“There is no need for you to repay anyone at this point.”

“Well, still- if there’s anything you need like love advice or something-”

Yamato quickly pulls Hibiki’s covers over his head, before getting up and going back over to lay in his own bed.

“H-hey…!” Hibiki loudly whispers to which Yamato just motions for him to shush.

It is not long before Hibiki falls asleep again and Yamato is left alone, staring at the ceiling silently. It occurs to him that he has never bothered to speak with Makoto about whether she too experiences these sort of painful dreams. In fact, there is much he has not bothered to ask her because he deemed it inappropriate for their relationship level and yet… somehow, he knew much more about everyone else except her.

Shutting his eyes, he takes a deep breath, knowing full well that every time he had to fight with himself to not ask her these questions simply because he did not know how to without feeling like he was crossing a line somehow. In fact, the only reason he even knew what her favorite foods were was because he had run into Yanagiya and Kanno once when they came to deliver her some “half-birthday” goods to her office at one point.

It was frustrating that despite how many times over the world was reset, he had never bothered to ask her these things. Even if their relationship is purely professional, shouldn’t one’s boss know such simple things if only to help with maintaining pleasant relations? Yamato knew other politicians favorite drinks and restaurants as uninterested as he was in them, but he had not a clue of Makoto’s preferences with that sort of thing.

And yet, she continues to serve under him all the same and smiles at him every morning when she greets him. She asks him questions as far as she is comfortable and sometimes he relents and other times he simply waves off the question as impertinent before redirecting the conversation, but she never shows disappointment in such. Every time he suppressed that very feeling that made him want to know more… and Yamato felt quite regretful now for every wasted opportunity to get to know Makoto better in this world.

With that thought, Yamato wills himself to sleep, hoping that perhaps he can begin taking small steps to understanding what exactly is this feeling that both drives him to want to know everything and yet also causes him to automatically shut himself off from knowing anything.


	5. Chapter 5

They’re waiting at the airport for the flight back when Yamato panic texts the only other person he believes might be able to understand him about the entire thing.

> Kanno, I imagine that you are the closest to me in being unclear as far as emotional matters go so I am in need of your assistance regarding that. First of all, I am not saying that I have feelings for anyone and that idea is merely an unfounded theory given to me by Saiduq, but there is definitely something unfamiliar to me that is happening. I am sure you are well aware of what may be happening chemically for me to experience such, but I will say that I have also never experienced it before so I am not entirely sure how to describe it necessarily. My apologies as that will not help you with this, but do you have any idea what that might be? This is in regards to Sako, by the way. Thanks in advance.

It is about 30 minutes later that he gets a response and he about nearly crushes the phone in his hand.

> **you mean you don’t know what that is? don’t need to explain the chemical reactions to you unless you really don’t understand how love works and i don’t mean the platonic sort. you know what platonic love is right? please tell me you know that much**
> 
>  I’m well aware. So you say it is more than platonic? You agree with Saiduq?
> 
>   **yep. sorry to break it to you, but that’s what it is whether you believe it or not and boy does your initial text give the impression that you don’t wanna believe it... i will say the sooner you do though the more it’ll make sense and if it doesn’t make sense, then uh, i really got nothin for you unless you come in so i can try and get more in-depth with you. free of charge even.**
> 
>  I’ll pass on that offer. Thanks, though.
> 
> **if you ever change your mind, lmk. glad you realized tho bc she’s been kinda just waitin soooo good luck chiefy. you got this**

Yamato stares at the text for awhile unsure of what to make of it. She’s been waiting…? Yamato peers in closer to the screen as though doubting somehow that his vision has gone bad all of a sudden. Somehow, even after clarifying and rereading the text over and over, it doesn’t make sense to him. What does it mean, that she has been waiting?

“Kuze.”

“Yeah?”

“Remember last night when you mentioned if I ever needed ‘love advice’...”

“... Um, what?”

Yamato jabs him in the side with his elbow, both to try and get him to not play dumb and also to get back at him for all those times Hibiki did him the same.

“Oh, yeah, I remember- I remember,” Hibiki says quickly, mumbling afterward, “J-just don’t jab me again. Your elbows are really pointy…”

“Right. I need your advice.”

“Huh?”

Yamato nearly does it again, but Hibiki quickly rises from his seat to avoid the dreaded elbow to his ribs. “Jesus, Yamato, cool it.”

“I’m being serious right now and you’re playing dumb with me.”

“H-” Hibiki catches himself from sounding totally lost, realizing what he meant. “S-Sorry. I didn’t even notice… B-But anyway, you really want my advice, huh?”

“Are you going to help me or not? I’d rather discuss this before Saiduq comes back.”

“Why’s that?”

“Stop asking unnecessary questions. Just help me.”

“Um, okay. So what’s this about?”

“I think… I, er…. Like…. Sako.”

“Huh?”

Yamato about growls at Hibiki’s constant voiced confusion. “I’m not going to repeat myself. You heard me.”

Hibiki stares at him for a bit, before it really sets in that what Yamato just said was… real.

“Wow, I really didn’t expect that from you.”

“It is irrelevant whether you expected it or not. I need advice.”

“Sure, but what kind of advice exactly? Like did you tell her yet?”

“... No.”

“Okay, so we’re not even at step one yet.”

“Step one?”

“Like asking her out on a date or something.”

“Oh. So there are different steps…”

“Not. Officially or anything, but as a general rule, there should be an order to how you do things, I think. Personally, anyway.”

“Hm. Have you been on dates before?”

“Me? Nah, that’s not for me. I’m not really interested in that sort of thing.”

“Yet you know about this process…”

“Well, I mean, it’s easy enough to observe and learn. Plus, I indulge in media a lot and it tends to give you an idea of what is expected anyway, good or bad as that might be to certain people. However, you can figure out what works for you and your significant other and work from there.”

“I will have to research. Meanwhile, I need to know what to do when we get back.”

“What to… do?”

“Right. The moment she greets us at the airport.”

“Ummm…. There’s not really anything you should do.”

“Are you sure? Should I try to call Miyako right now? She does know all about this sort of thing after all as much as I don’t like to admit it.”

“You really are struggling, aren’t you? Don’t worry Yamato. Just be yourself. I don’t think you need to worry over how to act towards her so soon. Be cool and don’t rush it. Just like it took you some time to figure out what you were feeling this whole time, there needs to be time to also be able to feel comfortable with being open to the other person about it. It’s not gonna happen in a day.”

Yamato frowns at this. “But… she’s been waiting…”

Hibiki again cannot help, but be hopelessly confused about this so Yamato shows him the text from Fumi.

“What does that mean, though…? Waiting for how long though? Waiting for what? I mean, she will be waiting for us to get back I guess, but then-”

They don’t stop trying to theorize even after Al comes back, involving him in trying to get an extra head to make sense of the supposedly unclear text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good luck chiefy


	6. Chapter 6

The entire plane ride is extremely unpleasant as all Yamato can do is sweat restlessly in his seat over how to act the moment they land and with each hour they grow ever closer to their homeland meaning that time is running out to get himself all sorted out. He soon has to loosen his tie and unbutton the collar as Hibiki teases him and Al fans him for a bit all while trying to reassure him that he really doesn’t need to do anything out of the ordinary.

Yet, what was ordinary? Brushing off moments to bond in the name of remaining professional? The idea is unappealing to him now as he is more than painfully aware that he cannot simply ignore the feeling anymore even though he made it this far doing such. The trip only made him that much more aware how truly important her company was to him and that he dearly wanted to be on a trip with her the next time he did travel anywhere.

That is what he wanted to say to her on the phone, but his own selfish need to keep his distance out of fear made him blurt out that he wanted to be alone. The thought painfully squeezed his heart, further imagining that she already settled on a date for him to travel alone and that was probably why she had paused before suggesting it could be done for him. Maybe, she wanted to come with him that whole time, but didn’t want to voice it so as not to displease him…? Yamato felt like his brain was racing to get all of these thoughts processed and arranged accordingly, but it was all happening so fast and before he knew it he had fallen asleep amidst all the panic at some point.

When he awoke it was to Hibiki shaking him quite gently.

“Yamatoooo, we landed. Hope you got your speech memorized.”

“Hibiki, don’t tease him like that,” Al frowns, grabbing their luggage from the overhead compartment. “He has already suffered enough.”

“... Yeah, you’re right. Sorry Yamato, that was a poor joke. Too soon and all.”

Yamato just shrugs at him, before groggily getting to his feet. Hibiki hands him his laptop bag and once Al finishes getting each other suitcases down, they exit the plane with their luggage in tow. Though, they still have to stop to pick up Hibiki’s two extra suitcases with all of his many souvenirs.

The moment they spot Makoto, Yamato about nearly freezes, but he forces himself to keep his pace as both Hibiki and Al sneak glances over at him curiously. Though, Hibiki finds himself panicking as well over what Yamato might potentially have conjured up in his head as a good idea so he runs forward, waving at Makoto as he calls to her. This makes Yamato flinch, wishing that he would quiet himself down while Al just smiles over at Yamato.

“You’ll be fine, my dear Hotsuin.”

“Hmph, you really cannot stop…” Yamato mutters, looking over at him.

Despite his obvious displeasure with the nickname, he is grateful still for Al’s reassurance.

“Oh, Kuze, and… 6 suitcases? But you only left with 4 between you all…”

“I had to buy two more along the way so I could bring back souvenirs for everyone. Luckily, Yamato and Al are both good friends who don’t mind helping me at all, right?”

Yamato just grunts at this as Al nods approvingly. Makoto seems pleased that they all seemed to have gotten along for the most part and that she never got a call from Yamato about any committed crimes abroad. Her gaze settles on him and Yamato meets her eyes briefly, before looking elsewhere.

“Welcome back. It’s nice to see you again, sir.”

Yamato steels himself off from showing any reaction even though he much feels his brain growing fuzzy again. “Yes, it is nice to be back.”

“Would you like me to carry those for you?”

“No… There is no need to concern yourself with me, Sako.”

Immediately, she turns her attention to Al who shakes his head, but thanks her all the same. Hibiki, however, jumps shamelessly at the opportunity to have one of the bags taken from him and Yamato wants to smack him, but Al places a hand on his shoulder to keep him from acting even though he much desires the same. Makoto does not seem to mind though and looks rather happy to help with the task and Yamato finds himself fondly observing as she carries on casual conversation with Hibiki.

It sets in very suddenly the advice that Fumi and Hibiki had given him and he knows exactly what to do once all of the commotion and excitement over their return has ended.

Give it time and time he will give it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you mean i got this far and still there is no mad romance happening? yeah.... i'm telling you......... it's gonna come. eventually,,,

A week later, they all have returned to their normal routines and Yamato is back in the comfort zone that is his office. The first day after being back in to work, Makoto made sure that he was up to speed on everything that he needed to be made aware of as well as all of the meetings lined up for the next week as well as some projects that were still requiring further review from him and so on and so forth. At some point, he has to stop her though because it was wearing down on him, knowing exactly how much stress he had put on her by being gone for an entire month.

“Sako.”

“Yes?”

“Given all that you’ve relayed to me so far, I think it would be wise for you to have a break yourself.”

“... Oh. Oh, no. I really don’t need a break-”

“Regardless of whether you feel you don’t need the vacation, it is only logical that there is an equal trade-off here.”

Makoto slowly nods at that, not wanting to really argue as it does make sense. Though, she really feels that it is unnecessary.

“Now then, I know quite well that it would also be unfair that I get to travel freely with my… friends and to have you not experience the same thing-”

“Ah, th-that’s not something you need to worry about…! We’ve already been saving up for that sort of thing so honestly, it’s fine for me to just have the time off and nothing else beyond that.”

Yamato stares at her for a bit. “You’ve been saving up to travel with them…?”

“For quite some time, actually. It’s mostly just been a matter of when would be a good time and we were thinking perhaps this upcoming summer because Fumi arranged to take the semester off and Otome managed to swap shifts with enough people that it’s feasible. Really, it was mostly just me, but I’ve been a bit hesitant to ask since it would be a couple weeks… It seemed a bit excessive.”

“Sako. You can take time off as you need and considering how much you never take off, any amount would not be excessive in the least.”

“R-Right, but-”

“Did you have all of the information already planned out?”

“… We weren’t going to book anything until I got my time approved by you.”

“I approve it.”

“B-But I don’t even know the exact dates yet-”

“It is no matter.”

Makoto cannot help being awfully confused by the freedom granted to her and part of her had been secretly hoping that he might say no actually.

“By the way, I hope this is not too inappropriate of me, but I did bring back a few things for you…” Yamato quickly removes his gaze from Makoto, grabbing the small bag under his desk that he had been patiently waiting to give to her ever since he had gotten off the plane.

He strides over to hand her the gifts directly, making sure to preface it with. “It’s not much, but…”

She accepts it and awkwardly holds the bag for a minute, before he nods at her to go ahead and see what was inside exactly. Makoto immediately takes a seat on the sofa and Yamato takes a seat across from her, that strange warmth brimming in his head as he watched. Sure, he was a bit nervous what she might think of his choices, but he liked to think that she would enjoy the things he had gotten her.

A number of the items had been a joint effort between him, Hibiki and Al as he had no clue how to buy souvenirs that weren’t just cookies or snacks from the station. However, there were a couple that he managed to pick out on his own and he was rather beside himself in his own tastes.

One of which was a jade bracelet that she had taken to staring at curiously. Honestly, he could have bought it anywhere, but Yamato never thought about it until he was boredly peering about the market when the small arrangement of various sculpted pieces caught his attention and soon after, his eyes landed on the jewelry. While he normally was not one to think so much of such items, he had been quite taken with some of the colors and he was right there anyway.

At some point during all of this, Yamato had managed to get his point across that he wanted some proof about the authenticity of the product which was presented to him after a bit. Even still, he couldn’t help staring at the certificate as thought it was forged somehow. At that point, Al had come to step in and remind Yamato that he shouldn’t worry so much over these details unless the price garnered such scrutiny.

Yamato could not help the smile on his face as he thought about it and Makoto caught the expression, unable to keep herself from smiling at him as well.

“I’m not really one for jewelry as it tends to get in the way, but I really like it,” Makoto has put it on now, holding out her arm some to try and get a different look at it on her.

“It suits you splendidly.”

Makoto blinks, feeling her cheeks grow warm at the compliment and she hurriedly removes it from her wrist while sputtering out a messy “thank you” as she moves back on to investigating the couple items left. One of which is a rather gaudy t-shirt that Hibiki had snuck into the mix and had completely forgotten about. Yamato had also forgotten about it so he stood up suddenly, ready to snatch it from her.

“Ah, so the chief’s tastes are also… like this sometimes, I see…”

And yet, she accepts it all the same much to Yamato’s great puzzlement.


End file.
